Horribly impressive chat up lines

For those who are bored with succeeding all the time.

Would you marry a radish?

.....(insert girl's name)? That's my pet dog's name!

How long did you spend getting ready? (said with rising tone). Was it worth it?

Is it true ginger girls smell really bad down below?

Your boyfriend's an arsehole.

I don't fancy you, but you've got great tits! (Now why that doesn't work, I don't know!)

I love your eyebrows.

A day without discharge is like a dog that doesn't lick its balls. Don't you agree?

Hi.

I rubbed my nipple with sandpaper today.

Glass. Glass. Glass. Glass. Glass.

Ich bin ein Berliner. (farts loudly).

You look just like my auntie Bessie!

Have you really never been to Guatemala?

Your shoes remind me of raw pork chops.

Your sister told me you can't dance. If you take it up the gary, I won't mind tho'.

All women are lesbians.

Do you think Michael Jackson did it? Really? Why? That's crap! You don't know what you
are talking about! He's my hero! Shao-mon* (and wave one-gloved hand) (*er, can't spell that!)

I had a girlfriend. Once. (Helps if you're wearing army surplus gear).

Hiyaaaarrrrerrrraaaaaeeeeeehhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaooooooo - ah!

Will you look after my torch for me while I go to the toilet?

Smell my pubes.

Vive la France. Could I interest you in five hundred tons of scrap metal?