hillbilly hullabaloo

urhk, grrr,

must blog, must bl...urrrr, if only I could wipe my brow upon the (electronic) page....

mojito!!!

yeah, had a mojito.

looked like a load of urine on nettles with a mountainlet of crushed ice on the summit even tho we've got a drought here and shouldn't be wasting water, but it's me so it's alright and

even tho the bartender asked if I liked it more sour or sweet and I said 'It's my first' and he said 'Well, that puts a lot of pressure on me' and I wondered if he was flirting and wanted to run but I couldn't cause of the heaps and heaps of curry I'd

just had

earlier but not so long ago but a while ago but it wasn't going

and it reminded me of that programme that I saw over breakfast

this morning which was the American (i.e. expensive but apparently much tackier and how much tackier can you actually get?)

version of playing it straight and

of course the presenter- ess, who made the multi-talentless June Sarpong seem quite debonair,

thank you,

was dumb and dull and even when she and the presenter had explained that there was a monetary prize and it was to be shared either among the heterosexual couple were the final pair to be such or kept by the mendacious homosexual male alone were he to prove successful in his


pursuit

of the 'prize' a at best average-looking and immensely dull and irritating mid-western gal, is this what you take to be representatie of American values, such rank mediocrity?,

she still had to quote a rather twee strapline that made it clear for the brain-challenged heartlands of said Americah, ie. probably the mid-Amer-can town that our pallid 2 cent Barbie was plucked from and all along the diction and comments were indicative of too much repeating of perhaps once-acceptable phrases now having entered the lexicon of triteness incarnate or simply no neurones firing ...d'uh, hello?! and

then, of course, the first two voted off the programme were 'straight' and this was such a surprise to everyone because they were certain that these two were gay due to their failure

to exhitbit redneck tendencies and to try to shove their tongues down Barbie's throat from 15 paces even though the ridiculous stereotype of an effeminate man being gay and nothing but can
only still be adhered to on a conscious (fuck the subliminal, eh, let's just out with it cause we're all...arseholes, yes I know you are) level in the good ol' land of the brave and the home of the free - as long as you're not a faggot, unless you're funny in which case, get a guest spot on Will and Grace and we can laugh uneasily at you from our corpulent lives bolstered by our corpulent values

and of course having a hairdryer is undoubtedly a signifier of aberrent sexual orientation (such as it may be considered by the good and the far right) because a man would never do such a thing, not a real man, anyway and

there was a surprising amount of bitching and backstabbing among the men who, gay or not, were predominantly a bunch of faceless not much of anythings and then

I had another mojito but someone else ordered cause that bar wasn't safe even though it was cause people making good wisecracks and it was is good, and I'm not saying I've had too much to drink or that I'm easy or anything

but damn, it's hot in here again or maybe that's the innoculation I had

and I can still feel that curry inside me.

I'm gonna name it Alfred. After the last real Saxon king.

g' night.

blog central out.